After owning gyms for so many years, I have heard just about every excuse for being late or missing work, at least I thought so until I heard these. Coaches and instructorâ€™s excuses for absence must equal or exceed the following:
“I had a fever.”
“What kind of fever?”
I was sprayed by a skunk.
I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
My neighbor dumped a load of sand in my driveway and I can’t get my car out.
My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
I gained weight and din’t have any clothes to wear.
I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
My girlfriend’s husband is dying and I have to be there to console her.
I’m having car trouble. I went to a rock concert last night and my car is changing colors.
The front door fell off my house.
I couldn’t find my shoes.
The train had a flat.
I hurt myself bowling.
Iâ€™m taking your advice. I’m having my head examined.
I was spit on by a venomous snake.
I know you write down a list of everyone’s excuses, so you pick one.
It’s a very bad hair day.
I’m blocked in my driveway by a HazMat Truck.
I came down with a bad case of something or other.
I totaled my wife’s jeep in a collision with a cow.
When I woke up, my clock said 8 p.m. and I thought I already missed work.
A hitman was looking for me.
I’m having car trouble. The trouble is that I’m not in it yet.
I can’t get the car out of the garage, because the garage door is broken.
I have an appointment with my psychiatrist.
My biological clock needs to be reset.
I locked myself in the bathroom.
My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
My keys are locked in my car, my car is locked in the garage, and my wife already left for work with the key to the garage.
I have to have my watchband let out.
We’re trying for a baby and my wife says today is our best time.
I didn’t want to be late for work again, so I am calling in sick.
My cat has a headache and I have to take her to the vet.
I’m calling in scared. I am “afraid” that I am not coming in today.
My agoraphobia is kicking in.
The chain came off my bicycle.
My daughter stole my money and I am out looking for her.
I have jury duty.
I dreamed I got fired, so when I woke up I thought I didn’t have to come in.
I can’t come to work today. Same reason as last time.
I can’t come into work today because of eye trouble…. I can’t see working today.
I don’t have a good excuse, so can I use a bad one.
I dropped my keys in the snow and I’m waiting for to to melt.
I’m waiting for the cable guy. I’ll be in next week.
I’m having a baby nine months from now.
I can’t come in today. My hair is still wet.
Macy’s is having a sale.
I had a pet emergency.
My brain went to sleep and I couldn’t wake it up.
I thought it was Sunday.
I have to pick on my kids. (pick up?)
My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
I can’t come to work because I have no hot water.
I had to be there for my husband’s grand jury trial.
I had to ship my grandmother’s bones to India.
I can’t coach today. My brain is full.
My broker says he has to talk with me about diversification.
I had to see my son’s probation officer.
The babysitter didn’t show up today so I can’t come in to work.
The dog ate my car keys. We have to hitchhike to the vet.
I forgot what day of the week it was.
Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.
A tree fell on my car.
I squeezed to much toothpaste out of the tube and it took me all day to get it all back in.
My monkey died.
Make a comment and give us your own best excuses or the best ones you’ve heard.