After owning gyms for so many years, I have heard just about every excuse for being late or missing work, at least I thought so until I heard these. Coaches and instructor’s excuses for absence must equal or exceed the following:
“I had a fever.”
“What kind of fever?”
“Uh, Spring?”
I was sprayed by a skunk.
I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
My neighbor dumped a load of sand in my driveway and I can’t get my car out.
My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
I gained weight and din’t have any clothes to wear.
I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
My girlfriend’s husband is dying and I have to be there to console her.
I’m having car trouble. I went to a rock concert last night and my car is changing colors.
The front door fell off my house.
I couldn’t find my shoes.
The train had a flat.
I hurt myself bowling.
I’m taking your advice. I’m having my head examined.
I was spit on by a venomous snake.
I know you write down a list of everyone’s excuses, so you pick one.
It’s a very bad hair day.
I’m blocked in my driveway by a HazMat Truck.
I came down with a bad case of something or other.
I totaled my wife’s jeep in a collision with a cow.
When I woke up, my clock said 8 p.m. and I thought I already missed work.
A hitman was looking for me.
I’m having car trouble. The trouble is that I’m not in it yet.
I can’t get the car out of the garage, because the garage door is broken.
I have an appointment with my psychiatrist.
My biological clock needs to be reset.
I locked myself in the bathroom.
My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
I eloped.
My keys are locked in my car, my car is locked in the garage, and my wife already left for work with the key to the garage.
I have to have my watchband let out.
We’re trying for a baby and my wife says today is our best time.
I didn’t want to be late for work again, so I am calling in sick.
My cat has a headache and I have to take her to the vet.
I’m calling in scared. I am “afraid” that I am not coming in today.
My agoraphobia is kicking in.
The chain came off my bicycle.
My daughter stole my money and I am out looking for her.
I have jury duty.
I dreamed I got fired, so when I woke up I thought I didn’t have to come in.
I can’t come to work today. Same reason as last time.
I can’t come into work today because of eye trouble…. I can’t see working today.
I don’t have a good excuse, so can I use a bad one.
I dropped my keys in the snow and I’m waiting for to to melt.
I’m waiting for the cable guy. I’ll be in next week.
I’m having a baby nine months from now.
I can’t come in today. My hair is still wet.
Macy’s is having a sale.
I had a pet emergency.
My brain went to sleep and I couldn’t wake it up.
I thought it was Sunday.
I have to pick on my kids. (pick up?)
My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
I can’t come to work because I have no hot water.
I had to be there for my husband’s grand jury trial.
I had to ship my grandmother’s bones to India.
I can’t coach today. My brain is full.
My broker says he has to talk with me about diversification.
I had to see my son’s probation officer.
The babysitter didn’t show up today so I can’t come in to work.
The dog ate my car keys. We have to hitchhike to the vet.
I forgot what day of the week it was.
Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.
A tree fell on my car.
I squeezed to much toothpaste out of the tube and it took me all day to get it all back in.
My monkey died.
Make a comment and give us your own best excuses or the best ones you’ve heard.
