Gymnasts (and coaches) have always made excuses for poor performances, poor practices, mistakes, etc. The sheer originality of some of gymnasts’ excuses has always been something that has been shared around the gymnastics community. I used to sell a Gymnastics Excuse T-shirt (until the volume of excuses left no where on the shirt to put any more). So now here are some of the more interesting and hilarious excuses we have heard:

NEWEST GYMNAST EXCUSES:

I was distracted by the smell of food coming from the snack bar.

I was trying to make one of America’s Funniest Video’s blooper reels.

Beam and bars violate the Laws of Physics.

I was trying to make Letterman’s Top 10 List.

Who needs all that pressure of training for the Olympics? Not me!

I just noticed my team leo is too small and I couldn’t bend over!

I’m tired of going to Disneyland.

Gymnast’s Excuse Shirt

Face it. You and your teammates in the gym need excuses from time to time. Never be without an appropriate excuse, for either practice or a meet.

You don’t want to talk back to your coach. Get a shirt with all of the excuses and just point to the appropriate excuse. Always wear the excuse shirt for easy reference.

For those of you who are the entrepreneurial type – Rent excuses to your teammates. Charge by the excuse or rent by the week.

Make an excuse shirt for your coach. Tell him to replace that one stained shirt he wears everyday with this one and provide you and your whole team with all the excuses you need everyday at a glance.

Have the coach’s excuse shirt printed on the front and back of the shirt, so you can come up with an excuse while the coach is yelling at you and can quickly memorize your next one while he is walking away.

All the excuses are numbered for easy use. After a while everyone will become familiar enough just to refer to them by number.

At our gym, all the gymnasts and the coaches know every excuse by heart and we just save time by calling out the number of our excuse when we fall or otherwise mess up.

One day this had been going on for an hour or so. Gymnasts calling out excuse numbers, “36,” “14,” “51,” “23.”

The coaches just nodding in response or shaking their heads in disgust.
After a fall off beam, one of the girls called out, “81.”

One of the coaches tore over to her and just went ballistic on her, lecturing her up one wall and down the other.

One of the class kids asked, “What’s going on over there? All day I hear gymnasts calling out excuse numbers and the coaches never said a word. All of a sudden one of them calls out 81 and that coach went berserk. What’s up with that?”

The team girl replied, “I don’t know. He’s a new coach. I guess he never heard that excuse before.”

You don’t want to have never heard an excuse before, so memorize the list.

101 Gymnasts’ Excuses

1. Crowds make me nervous.
2. Did not.
3. I almost fell one time so now I’m scared.
4. I bit my tongue.
5. I can do it, but I didn’t want to.
6. I can only do it when somebody stands there.
7. I can only do it with a spot.
8. I can’t do it when you’re watching.
9. I can’t find my grips.
10. I can’t find my music.
11. I can’t go that way on the beam.
12. I couldn’t breathe.
13. I couldn’t hear the music.
14. I couldn’t stay on because I forgot my beam shoes.
15. I did it. You just didn’t see it.
16. I didn’t have enough time to warm up.
17. I didn’t know I was supposed to.
18. I didn’t know you wanted me to go for it.
19. I didn’t want to get a wedgie.
20. I didn’t want to sweat.
21. I don’t remember my bar setting.
22. I fell off because the earth was turning.
23. I flopped when I should have flipped.
24. I forgot my lucky stuffed animal.
25. I forgot what we were doing.
26. I got a rip.
27. I got chalk in my eye.
28. I had a wedgie.
29. I had to go to the bathroom.
30. I haven’t done it for a long time.
31. I heard voices.
32. I never got to practice that.
33. I ran too fast.
34. I thought I ripped.
35. I thought I was getting a rip.
36. I tried.
37. I was going crooked.
38. I was sore from too much conditioning.
39. I was too high.
40. I was up first.
41. I was up last.
42. I was surprised I made and fell off.
43. I’ll do it next time.
44. I’m only 8.
45. I’m not used to doing it right.
46. It was my bad side.
47. It’s not my fault. I was up first.
48. My board was set wrong.
49. My coach called the wrong vault.
50. My dismount was low because I’m afraid of heights.
51. My grips are too new.
52. My grips came undone.
53. My grips fell off.
54. My grips were worn out.
55. My hand slipped off the bar.
56. My hands are too hot.
57. My judges were watching floor instead.
58. My legs were shaking.
59. My leotard is too tight.
60. My mom told me I didn’t have to run.
61. My steps were off.
62. Not enough chalk.
63. Psyche.
64. Someone talked while I was going.
65. Someone talked while I was going.
66. That isn’t my bar setting.
67. That judge didn’t like me.
68. The audience was too noisy.
69. The bars looked different.
70. The bar was too springy.
71. The bars were too chalky.
72. The beam is too high.
73. The beam was crooked.
74. The beam was fuzzy.
75. The beam was slippery.
76. The beam’s too hard.
77. The board was too close.
78. The board was too far.
79. The coach called the wrong vault.
80. The coach set my bars wrong.
81. The dog ate my leotard.
82. The earth was spinning.
83. The floor had no spring.
84. The floor was too dead.
85. The floor was too hard.
86. The floor was too springy.
87. The horse is too high.
88. The judge wasn’t watching whenever I was doing good.
89. The judges were for the other team.
90. The low bar’s too low.
91. The music was too loud.
92. The vault run was too short.
93. There was no chalk.
94. There wasn’t enough warm-up.
95. There were holes in the floor.
96. There were too many girls in my age group.
97. They flashed the wrong score.
98. They played the wrong music.
99. Too much chalk.
100. You told me not to think.
101. You told me to think.

More Excuses:

• I got a cramp.
• I hate beam.
• I hate to be up first.
• My feet slipped on the dismount.
• I hate beam.
• My teeth itch.
• I was thinking of food.
• I’m not a morning person.
• I hate to be last up on beam.
• The beam was slippery.
• I forgot where I was.
• The bars moved.
• I ate too much breakfast.
• I had to go to the bathroom.
• I hate vault.
• I couldn’t see the judge’s flag.
• I couldn’t hear the music.
• The sun got in my eyes on beam.
• I forgot my grips.
• The bars were slippery.
• I grew out of my leotard.
• I hate floor.
• My grips were on the wrong hands.
• I felt fat.
• The other team was lucky.
• I got Alzheimer’s on beam.
• I smiled at the judge and she deducted me.
• I ate my snack and my hands were sticky.
• Their coach scared me.
• The judges were mutants.
• My leotard was riding up.
• I was put in the wrong age group.
• I got distracted.
• I thought I was on beam when I was on floor.
• The judge coughed.
• The bars were loose.
• My dad made me eat a big pre-game meal like he used to in football.
• My team leo feels funny.
• I hate that event.
• I thought I saw a snake.
• There was a fly on the beam.
• I hate my coach.
• You complimented me and I didn’t know how to act.

Make a comment and give us your own best excuses or the best ones you’ve heard.